The Origin Of The Unicorn...

Discussed over the phone with Frankalicious...

We were discussing how some religious zealots believed in dragons, and that all dinos were herbivores, and lived during man. I said that even the unicorn existed once...

Upon creating Adam, God said unto him, 'IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT?" Adam pondered...

God stopped Adam in his thought, "I KNOW WHAT YOU'LL LIKE". So He made a horse, and slapped a rhino horn on its head. Adam said 'YAY!!'

God, delighted that he had pleased Adam so much, ordered the mass production of Unicorns.

Upon production he released them all into the sea at once.

Never being a good businessman, GOD watched as every Unicorn drowned, for he hadn't realize that the hoofed Unicorn could only swim for 15 minutes.

And that's why, if you ever take a submarine tour of the bottom of the ocean, you'll find THOUSANDS of unicorn corpses...

Adam, upon watching this manufacturing blunder, advised to Him,

"Maybe you should've put flippers on them..."

...And God, still angry that he didn't play it safe by testing one Unicorn out first, AND for the fact that he hadn't yet created CHINA to ease the cost...

... needed to vent, so he turned to Adam & punished him by ripping out a rib & creating Eve to be a pain in his side forever.

God then took the original Unicorn prototype...

...Yanked off the hooves...
...threw on some flippers...
...tested one out...
...created CHINA...
...and began mass production on the new animal...
...and called it the Narwhal without anyone's consent.

And Adam never told God that he thought the name was goofy and not marketable.

AND NOW YOU KNOW why in the movie LEGEND the unicorns sounded like WHALES.

The End